Rung #1
Assalamualaikum and hello.
I have always been weight conscious.
I am the second child out of three siblings. My family has always been in the appropriate BMI (body mass index) range.
I was in love with food. Food feels like my faithful companion. If you made them you need full attention to make the most delicious food you want to serve. If you're buying it, you spend more because you want the best.
I had an unhealthy relationship with food.
Yep.
I was the one who had the healthy appetite, if my mom was unable to finish her plate, i would be the "dumpster" and will definitely finish all the food presented. Wow. And of course, if I am upset, I did not have a companion that I am willing to share all of my worries, so I turn to food. And I kept eating. Aaaannd....All the food will be stored oh so perfectly at the tummy, thighs and upper arm area. I was FAT.
And I will always buy the bigger clothes to cover my body.
I was ashamed of my body.
I was the FAT GIRL.
Last year, I decided to take charge. I controlled my eating, I exercised regularly. And I did it! My BMI was 21 (normal for an asian and my height). But I wasn't satisfied. I wanted more. I want my BMI to be 20. The perfect BMI. So i continued on.
But regrettably I did not achieve my dream. And I was frustrated. And I started eating again.
Which made my BMI now 22.6
It may seem a slight rise but it was not. I gain back half the weight I lost.
Now I decided to not focus too much on my weight but on my health. I noticed since I started gaining weight again, my allergic rhinitis started flaring up. I am unable to sleep every night and in need of medication every day. How unhealthy!
I have decided to take my failures as bumps and only bumps, and shall not turn back to food, but instead turn to a real person to discuss my bumps, eventhough the bumps seemed miniscule and ridiculous.
So my first rung is to be healthy.
I have always been weight conscious.
I am the second child out of three siblings. My family has always been in the appropriate BMI (body mass index) range.
I was in love with food. Food feels like my faithful companion. If you made them you need full attention to make the most delicious food you want to serve. If you're buying it, you spend more because you want the best.
I had an unhealthy relationship with food.
Yep.
I was the one who had the healthy appetite, if my mom was unable to finish her plate, i would be the "dumpster" and will definitely finish all the food presented. Wow. And of course, if I am upset, I did not have a companion that I am willing to share all of my worries, so I turn to food. And I kept eating. Aaaannd....All the food will be stored oh so perfectly at the tummy, thighs and upper arm area. I was FAT.
And I will always buy the bigger clothes to cover my body.
I was ashamed of my body.
I was the FAT GIRL.
Last year, I decided to take charge. I controlled my eating, I exercised regularly. And I did it! My BMI was 21 (normal for an asian and my height). But I wasn't satisfied. I wanted more. I want my BMI to be 20. The perfect BMI. So i continued on.
But regrettably I did not achieve my dream. And I was frustrated. And I started eating again.
Which made my BMI now 22.6
It may seem a slight rise but it was not. I gain back half the weight I lost.
Now I decided to not focus too much on my weight but on my health. I noticed since I started gaining weight again, my allergic rhinitis started flaring up. I am unable to sleep every night and in need of medication every day. How unhealthy!
I have decided to take my failures as bumps and only bumps, and shall not turn back to food, but instead turn to a real person to discuss my bumps, eventhough the bumps seemed miniscule and ridiculous.
So my first rung is to be healthy.
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